| so i dont noe what i want to say and you clearly dont noe what you want to do but you want to be with him and i dont want you to but you insist so i stomp my feet and i protest and you do it anyway.
it takes some time till i realize it's about time i get the fuck over it yet when i do it makes me realize what a shit it has truly been and i only want to drown in the 5.45am coldness of the 5.45am pool. i try to say goodbye and i choke i try to walk away and i stumble though i try to hide it's clear fuck that fuck you fuck him
it's also truly sad that at 5.45am the only people i want to call are the people who i dont get see in the majority of my life and the family who i abandon every weekend at 12am.
so i just want to say that tomorrow i'll probably be better and thank you for everything you've done and for being there and for picking up and for even bothering because i haven't been man enough for you to care so good night. |
| |
| i love typing out long entries and deleting them. |
| |
| its damn scary when you realise. wow. best friend is not going to be around forever. |
| |
|
for all the shits thats been going down, im just very grateful. |
| |
| i feel very bad for not updating. not here but at guy's stuff. i kinda lost the urge to write. i still look at stuff everyday. things are still "death". it's amazing. but other than that. so much has changed. dynamics and all. friendships. relationships. it's all so wtf. i miss you guys i wish you were back. thanks. i also kinda miss 2005. ancientttttttttt. |
| |